It is my honor and joy to share this story with you. This sister of mine is a real life friend here in Roanoke, and I have loved walking this journey with her. I have literally watched her freedom unfold over the past few years, but especially this past year. I have seen God work in her own life, but then also impact other women around us in community. Through her thoughtful conversations and wrestlings about how alcohol affects our lives when used in unhealthy ways, she has made room and grace for others who may wrestle with the same thing: “gray area drinking.” I love this sister’s heart and her story.
Here is Saralyn’s Freedom Story.
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Before we get into your story, I want to know some of the fun stuff about you, Saralyn! Tell me about where you’re from, what you love to do, and anything else that will give us a little slice into your life.
Thank you so much for even asking me to be a part of this Heather! It is a true honor and I LOVE how you are sharing stories to help others! I’m originally from a small town in West Georgia called Carrollton, but Virginia is my home. I am one of 6 children and I’m smack dab in the middle! I’m a believer, a wife to Stephen of almost 12 years, mother to Charlotte (6) and Carson (almost 3). Most days you’ll find me moving my body through some form of dance/cardio or Holy Yoga. Stephen and I love to go see live music and take hikes outside with our family. We also are involved at our church where I serve on the Women’s Ministry Team.
Galatians 5:1 is a key verse for our FREEDOM STORIES. It says “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Therefore, do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” What was the old yoke you were living under? What was that slavery like for you?
YES GIRL! This verse is special because it will ALWAYS remind me of you, Heather. I discovered this verse while we were in a summer bible study called Seamless (one that I will never forget). If you are looking for a good launching pad-type study into the Bible, please check it out! I now proudly display this verse in our home.
Growing up I was always a believer, but I was not a participant in my faith. It wasn’t until about 2 years ago when I discovered that there was a “relationship” opportunity for me and the Lord. Through joining our new church that we love and finding a Bible study, this is where that relationship started for me.
It’s important to mention that I come from a family that is cursed with unhealthy addiction. One of those is alcohol. Yes, I would party some in high school and I might have even thrown a party or two while my parents were out of town. I never took anything too far and no one ever got hurt. Fast forward into college, marriage and becoming a mother. I continued my partying ways and it began to taper off after the first years of our marriage and more so after the birth of our first child. There were still plenty of Sunday mornings where I would wake up hungover from the night before. Once Carson came into the picture, I developed extreme postpartum anxiety and depression. I tried to eat right and workout enough to make it go away. I saw a doctor and she helped me get the right medication. However, I often found myself reaching for a glass of wine when things got stressful or to just unwind after a long day. Looking back, I realize I would reach for a glass to manage my anxiety. Often that one glass would lead to another and next thing you know you are bathing the kids with a glass of wine. Then you are rushing to tuck them in bed so you can go have another glass.
As a working mom with two small children, it is stressful. Not to mention the expectations of having to portray a perfect life these days. Social media can really be a tough place for people.
What I dealt with is what I consider “Gray Area Drinking.” I didn’t consider myself addicted. No one ever got hurt. I didn’t lose my job. I just began to realize that it wasn’t serving me well.
What were some of the old narratives you absorbed?
That I need to drink to have fun…
To relax, manage stress, or just because I deserved it…
To be the life of the party…
As a marketing professional, I want to also touch on the areas of social media and how companies are normalizing drinking more than ever. There are countless meme’s, t-shirts, cups, even health and wellness businesses promoting the lifestyle of how mom’s “need” to drink to do our jobs. “Mommy Juice”, “Wine Not”, “Rose All Day” is everywhere! It’s hard because of how normalized and celebrated drinking alcohol has become.
I also believe it is important to mention that I struggle with body image issues. After having two children via c-section and breastfeeding, it is understandable. One thing I didn’t realize I was doing is that I would rarely give myself days off from working out. I would sometimes never let my body fully rest. See, I knew that I would more than likely be drinking that night. So, in order to “make room” for those calories from the wine, I would make myself workout. Not a healthy balance at all.
Over time, I’ve realized who my identity is in Christ. I used to walk into a room and I would mold to other people’s personalities to make them or the situation more comfortable or bearable. I realized that is actually sinful – to not lean in and embrace the person God has made you to be. I don’t have to do that anymore. God calls us to shine the light and gifts He gave us and to stand firm in that truth.
What was the turning point? Was there a rock bottom or a point that you realized that you couldn’t live like that any longer?
One night, after some early evening drinking and not eating until 9pm, I attempted to put my kids in the bath. They were tired and didn’t want to take a bath. I remember screaming at them and losing my cool. It’s a feeling that makes me sick every time I am asked to share about it, but I don’t shy away from sharing it because it’s my truth. This is where the love story began with me and Jesus.
That night I decided to ask the Lord for help. I could no longer do this anymore-be bound to this kind of pain. The next morning was February, 12, 2018 and this was two days before Lent. I decided to see how it would be to give up alcohol for 40 days. It was amazing what the Lord did with me in those 40 days! I have been alcohol free for over a year now and it has been the best decision of my life.
I no longer wanted to be that person, that kind of mother, to ever see those little eyes to look at me that way again. My children were 5 and 1.5 at the time and I thank God that they were so young when I decided to give up alcohol.
I am and will always be grateful for making the choice while I still had a choice to make.
What changed? (what actions did you take/truths did you discover/community did you connect with to help you find freedom)?
This is such a good question! LOVE IT! So, I knew another mom that loved Jesus and she had recently given up alcohol. She was an unexpected angel and she is still someone I communicate with all the time. In fact, I have been public about my journey and there has been an amazing dialogue with other sober curious mothers. We call ourselves, “Sober Sisters”. There is a group of us that are on the same text thread and get together on occasion. We share our ups and downs along the way. It’s been amazing!
There are also a few Instagram accounts I follow that have been helpful such as @tellbetterstoriesmedia, @drylifeclub, and @thesoberglow . One podcast that especially helped me is called Edit- Editing the drinking and our lives by Adian Donnlley and Jolene Park. It’s like they crawled into my head and put out to the world exactly what was going on with me! SO good!
Tell me about your life of freedom. What does it look like for you now?
WOW! People ask me all the time if this is a “forever” thing. I tell them that I do not want to get ahead of myself, but it’s a decision made knowing that I’m just a better person without it.
I believe that drinking is a wall between my relationship with God. I am able to receive His love and communicate better with Him. I now have a better understanding of what I was put on this Earth to do and my identity in Him.
There is also less drama in my life. Part of this process is removing things that might have brought me anxiety or stress. I have been able to take a deep breath and be more intentional in the relationships with my family and friends that lift me up most.
Do you still wrestle with those old struggles? What do you do on those days to fight for your freedom?
I am human so yes, I sometimes do. For some reason, vacation can be hard not to have a drink. It’s like the enemy knows that I am not in my normal routine and he wants nothing more but to throw me off.
In those moments I am honest with myself about them. I take it to the Lord, talk to my husband or my Sober Sisters about my feelings. Sometimes I may reach for some dark chocolate, kombucha or hot tea instead!
Are there any key scriptures, quotes, or books that have been helpful for you on your journey into freedom?
Be on guard, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, be strong and do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16: 13-14
Honestly, I just LOVE this one! It’s my favorite. I believe that all of those words, that posture of faith and strength has carried me through being a participant in my faith so far. And of course, Galatians 5:1 really does say it all, right?
And last, because I’m a big believer that gratitude lists help us remain present and fight our battles, tell me 3 things you’re grateful for right now.
Being able to hang out with my husband and kids. To be present with them – not rush bedtime, to feel my very best each morning when they wake up!
To treat my body as a temple and something that I use to honor God.
To use my story and my suffering, to possibly help someone else by leading them to a better relationship with Christ.
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